Well here it is! A quick list of dos and don’ts on the date. After “What To Wear On A Date” I thought it was time to give you some pointers on how to date. So here it goes.
1. Social media?
Firstly, do not cancel our date at the last minute. It will make me think that you have had a better offer, and therefore that I’m nowhere near the top of your list of priorities. If you keep checking your WhatsApp or emails, texts, tweets, facebooks or instagrams this will have the same effect, and you will be eating all the pudding on your own. Keep smiling to yourself, go on. And if you want to meet me in Starbucks then you will be doing everything on your own because I won’t be turning up.
2. What to eat?
If you order spiralised courgetti spaghetti, quinoa, chia, tofu, soya milk or anything organic then we will not be compatible and nor will I be hanging around long enough to hear you start farting. If, however, you like spicy food then this is a very good sign. There is a psychological type known a sensation seeker (also characterised by a love of extreme sports) which, er, well – best refer back to the rule of tattoos and piercings.
3. What to drink?
Likewise, don’t order fizzy water – just have a beer for Christ’s sake. It will probably cost me less anyway. Also, the still sort of water that comes out of a tap tastes just the same as the stupidly overpriced bottled stuff, unless our date is happening in Bangladesh. But do let me choose the wine as I like to think that this is one of the few things I am good at, except in Bangladesh again. I will willingly admit that I know nothing about their wines. You can choose if we’re there.
4. To cat or not to cat?
If you own a cat (or worse, more cats than just one) then it is probably best not to mention it. Having a dog in your handbag is equally unacceptable but owning a Great Dane is quite cool. Having a horse is also sexy (it means that your thighs and butt are nice and firm) but we shouldn’t be able to smell it on you obviously.
Oh, and another thing. If you casually let slip into the conversation that you like kissing your best friend(s) then you are already three-quarters of the way to a call-back.
5. Going Dutch?
Finally, just let me pay on the first date, okay? By the end of the second date things should be less awkward and we’ll be able to work something out.
nd there you have it. Simple, isn’t it? Just don’t try too hard to guess what you imagine we are going to like. Basically, we don’t want to think that you are going to over-complicate life, or that you lack self-confidence. We interpret that has high-maintenance and needy. All we want is a nice, independent and easy-going, fun girl with a sense of humour who doesn’t come across as being quite as unfathomable as most other women do. Someone a bit like Miss X, really.
Read more about Mr. W and Single in the City here.